Dirty Little Secret
by crazy-wild-and-free
Summary: They both knew it was wrong. They both knew it shouldn't be happening. Not like it had been, anyways. She knew she's probably just using him as always. He knew it, too, but he had said it himself in a screwed up way, being used never felt better. But, hey, Spike and Buffy managed to keep up the charade for a while without being caught so why couldn't they do it, too? R&R!
1. Prologue

First off, this is my first ever TVD and DE fanfic that I've ever written and published. Secondly, this is set in Season 4. Let's speed up a little bit and pretend that Elena suddenly broke off her and Stefan's relationship and no one knows why. Well, this story, which may be pretty short, will delve into why exactly the sudden break up occured.

Oh, also, for anyone that may care, I was watching Buffy/Spike videos on youtube and suddenly this fic popped into my mind for DE and I just couldn't stop myself from writing it and posting it now. If anyone ever watched BTVS, then you're most likely familiar with Spuffy and their secret relationship throughout Season 6. Well, this is my version of Delena in a situation sort of like Spuffy's was. I hope you all like it.

**Disclaimer: I don't own TVD or Elena or Damon. If I did, then Delena would've happened already and DEx, too! ;)**

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**PROLOGUE**

All supernatural things aside, Elena felt horrible. She could blame being a new vampire for her current predicament all she wanted to, but it wouldn't do any good. Everyone, especially herself, knew that the pot had been boiling since day one. Whether any of them wanted to admit it, they all knew that after a while the water in the pot would boil over and everything would change.

There was no denying how Elena felt for both brothers. She could pretend that she loved one and didn't love the other, but it was a lie. Everybody knew it was, but they just didn't want to acknowledge it because then there would be no turning back and their perfect view of Elena could always be perfect. Well, guess what, Elena wasn't perfect. She'd be the first one to admit it.

Elena hated how everyone always treated her like she was weak and fragile. No matter what she did wrong somehow, someway everyone would find a way to blame someone else, namely Damon. It was so easy for everyone to blame him. Hell, she even blamed him for a lot of her problems. Yet, in actuality a lot of it was her fault and she surprisingly wished that everyone would realize that.

She hated to feel guilty just as much as anyone else, but that's just a fact of life. People do things that they're not proud of, but they always learn from their mistakes and wrong doings. Elena was no exception, and yet somehow everyone made it seem like she was. She could do no wrong. If she did, then hey guess what? It's not her fault! It's really someone else's.

She just wanted to feel like she was normal for once, to actually be able to take the blame for her own actions. She wanted to feel ike she was herself again. With him, she alwaysd did. She wanted someone to understand her. With him, she was always understood. Maybe that was why she was in the predicament she was currently in. Or maybe it was the compelled memories that she had gotten back recently. Or maybe it was because her senses were heightened now that she's a vampire. But, deep down, she knew the truth.

She was in her current predicament because her body, mind, heart, and soul were all working together for once. They were working together to lead her to realizing the real truth. The truth that she had tried so desparately to pretend wasn't the truth. The truth was coming out quickly now, even if that meant her having to seem like a bitch by breaking up with Stefan so that she could have her secret encounters with his brother. She never did things just because she wanted to or because she could. She always had a reason for all of her actions. This time wasn't any different. At the moment, it may seem wrong and she may feel horrible, but she knew very well that everything happens for a reason.

They both knew it was wrong. They both knew it shouldn't be happening. Not like it had been, anyways. She knew she's probably just using him as always. He knew it, too, but he had said it himself in a screwed up way, being used never felt better. Besides, she left Stefan for him this time. So, maybe that was a break through. But, hey, Spike and Buffy managed to managed to keep up the charade for a while without being caught so why couldn't they do it, too? Maybe this time, it wouldn't turn out the way it always does.

But, for now...it'd just be their own personal dirty little secret.

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So, there's the Prologue! Next chapter, the real first chapter, will explain what the prologue was all about! Review and let me know what you all think! All reviews are welcome! Thanks!


	2. The Third Time

Thank you all for the reviews, favorites, and follows! They all mean so much to me!

**Chapter rating: **Stronger rated T, but not quite an M.

**Disclaimer: I don't own TVD or Elena or Damon. If I did, then Delena would've happened already and DEx, too! ;)**

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**CHAPTER 1**

Elena laid in bed with her eyes closed while holding onto Teddy and recalling how exactly she had come to the decision to break up with Stefan. She had broken up with Stefan only hours before and even though she had kept the break up short and simple she knew exactly why she did it. She had simply told Stefan that she needed space and that she rushed back into the relationship too quickly. He had replied wanting to make it work saying he'd do anything to make it work between them. Elena insisted that it was all too complicated and he'd never understand, then she had left without letting him speak another word. But, there's was so much more to it than she had let on.

It had all started when Elena was having trouble keeping down blood of any kind. She had went to the grill where she knew Damon would be and had asked him for help, and help her he did. They both had ended up getting caught up in the moment. Damon had said before Elena drank that blood sharing between vampires was kind of personal, and yet she still drank from him. That's when it happened the first time.

One moment, she was enjoying the taste of Damon's blood and dry humping his leg and then the next moment she was up against the wall and Damon was inside her. She had no idea how it went from bloodsharing the sex in such a short period of time, it had all just been such a blur for her. Then, just like that as if it had never happened Damon was exiting the bathroom and Elena was left trying to figure out what the hell had just actually happened.

The second time it happened they were at the frat party and they were both on a blood high and having a great time jumping around and dancing. Then, just like the first time there was a bathroom and a wall. It was like the grill moment all over again and then they were both back to partying like nothing had happened. However, that didn't last long. Elena felt so much guilt come over her when Bonnie found them and tried to kill them both with her disappointed judgemental glare. Oh boy, did the guilt come over her.

It was after she got home and Damon had told Stefan that she was all his that she finally realized that that's not who she wanted to be. She didn't want to be Stefan's. She wanted to be herself. She was noone's. She only belonged to herself, and she'd make sure of it. Therefore, she came up with the decision to break up with Stefan. And, it all started with Damon's words. She couldn't figure out why his words affected her so much. They affected her more than just enough to decide to end it with Stefan, but they also affected her to a deeper point, which is what brought on her thoughts of wanting to be treated like herself, and that's exactly what Damon always does. He treats her like herself.

There had yet to be a third time. However, Elena had a feeling that their third time and maybe fourth and fifth, and wait...she shouldn't be getting so worked up and ahead of herself. She had a feeling that the next however many times would probably come sometime later the same day after she ended things with Stefan. She just couldn't bare the thought of continuing a relationship with Stefan any longer when she never knew when she and Damon would end up having yet another sexual encounter. She definitely wasn't gonna become Katherine 2.0. She cwould never be. She just couldn't be...ever.

Elena was stolen away from her thoughts by the sound of her cell phone's alert for a text message. She grabbed her phone from beside her on the bed and clicked on the text which was from Caroline. It read;

_I heard you broke up with Stefan. Everything seemed fine between you two. Do you want to talk about it?_

Seeing as if she hadn't told Caroline that she had broken up with him or even that she was going to Elena knew that Stefan was more than likely over at Caroline's asking if she could get anything out of her. Of course, Caroline was all for Stefan and Elena being together, so surely Caroline would do and say anything and everything she had to in order to get the truth out of Elena. But, Elena was ready for the questions that Caroline was sure to ask her, but she definitely wasn't ready for anyone to know the real truth.

Knowing that Stefan was at Caroline's, Elena decided that now would be her opportunity to go talk to Damon without anyone knowing and getting suspicious of her recent un-Elena like actions. Well, not anymore suspicious then they probably were going to be after word got out to everyone else about the break up. Elena just wanted to make sure that Damon heard it from her and not someone else. In retrospect, Elena wanted Damon to hear it from her that it's possible that she had made a mistake in choosing Stefan over Damon. However, it'd take some time with her being single and on her own for her to sort out the things that were racing around like a hurricane in her head.

Elena quickly scrambled out of bed stuffing her phone into her pocket after choosing not to text Caroline back right now. She felt that it'd be too risky to take her truck, so she decided to embrace the perks of being a vampire for once and use her vampire speed to get there. She wanted to get to the mansion and speak to Damon before Stefan came back Since she wasn't a physic she had no idea when he'd be returning back home. She didn't want to take the chances of Stefan returning before she left and seeing her truck parked there in the driveway. This was definitely not the time to be taking chances like that. It would be devestating to her if anyone other than her, and soon Damon, knew the truth revolving around the breakup.

**~DLS~**

Elena made it there in record time. She didn't even bother knocking. The door was never locked, anyways. Entering into the foyer she allowed the door to slam shut behind her. The sound of the door shutting vibrated the floor beneath her. The door could've easily broken off the hinges if she had slammed it just a little bit harder. Not that she would really care.

"Damon!" she called out but got no response in return. "Damon! I know you're here! Your car is parked outside!" she called again still she got no response.

Using her vampire hearing, Elena could hear the faint sound of the shower running in his room. Not knowing what came over her all of a sudden, Elena found herself making her way up the stairs following the sound of the show. It was as if she had suddenly been put into a trance and couldn't stop herself from walking closer and closer to his room. Maybe she really was in a trance, and Damon had heard her calling his name and somehow was screwing with her head to bring her closer. But, she was a vampire now, not a human anymore. So, surely that couldn't be what it was. Or maybe it was her subconcious taking over her and making her go there knowing that deep down that's exactly what she wanted to do. Yeah, that seemed about right. If there was one thing her subconcious didn't put up with anymore it was her lying to herself. It'd lead her where she wanted to go no matter what the consequences would be.

Once outside Damon's bedroom door, Elena gained control of herself back. So now it was apparently her own choice whether or not to go in now or wait until the water shut off and Damon hopefully at least had a towel or something on. As a human, she would've turned back and waited down stairs no second thoughts about it. As a vampire, however, she felt the urge to not think twice and just go for it. Well, turns out that's exactly what she did.

Elena grabbed the door handle and twisted it pushing the door open and then making her way into the bedroom. She quietly closed it behind her. She stood there with her back against the door and took in a deep, unneccessary, nervous breath. Was it really possible for her to be second guessing herself now of all times. She was already in the room with the door closed. She'd made it this far turning back now would make her a coward.

Pushing herself away from the door, she slowly tiptoed across the floor. She hadn't even made it halfway across the floor when the water cut off. Elena stopped dead in her tracks and slowly found herself turning until she was staring at a stark naked and very wet Damon. All she could think of was how lucky she was to be a vampire at this point because as a human in this moment she would've been passed out on the floor from the sight, even though it wasn't anything she hadn't seen before. She suddenly flashed back to the day she saw him in all his naked glory with bubbles all over him. Now that was a sight to always remember. Elena could now add this time seeing him naked to her must always remember list in her head, too. Her eyes were literally glued to his body, she couldn't avert them no matter how hard she tried. Until he spoke.

"Come back to see the full show this time?" he asked in classic Damon fashion referring to the other day when he'd been undressing in front of her and she practically had to remind herself that she was dating Stefan at that moment and staying for the show would've been so wrong.

"No," she answered simply. "Could you put a towel around you or get dressed? I need to tell you something and it'd be so much easier to do so if you weren't completely naked," Elena told him biting her lower lip and tapping her foot against the floor impatiently.

Seeing the look on her face and hearing the impatient tapping of her foot against the floor, Damon grabbed a towel and put it around his waste without a word. "What is it?" he asked walking closer to her.

Elena didn't answer right away. She silently pondered how exactly she should put what she was about to say. After a few moments of thinking it through in her head, Elena answered, "I broke up with Stefan."

"What'd you do that for? Nothing going right in Stefan and Elena land?" he asked sounding harsher than he had intended on being.

Well, Elena had to admit that she did deserve that. After all, she had chosen Stefan over Damon so many times. She shouldn't actually expect him to not be harsh about her coming to him just to tell him that she had broken up with him not even a week after last choosing him over Damon. She wouldn't hold the harsh tone against him.

"You know why, Damon," Elena said turning to follow him with her eyes as he walked past her.

He turned back around to look and her and replied, "No, Elena, I really don't know why. Just like I don't know why you always come to me when something doesn't work out with you and Stefan only to have you turn around and go right back to him not much long after."

Alright, so she definitely deserved that, too. He was absolutely right and she couldn't say otherwise or she'd be lying even more than she already is and has been lying. She always did end up back with Stefan. But, this time would be different. She had promised herself that she wouldn't go back to Stefan again if she wasn't 100% sure that he's the one she wanted. And, surely, since she always went to Damon when something happened between her and Stefan she couldn't 100% really want him, then could she?

"It won't be like that this time, Damon. I made the choice to break up with him. He didn't break up with me. I broke up with him, and you know why I did, Damon. I never do anything just because. There has to be a bigger reason for the day you gave me your blood and the night at the frat party. I could say that it was the blood high I was on both times, but I now know that'd I only be lying to myself and to everyone else if I were to say that," Elena said exactly what had been on her mind the whole day and she made sure not to leave anything out.

For once, she was right, too. Elena could say and even pretend that all it was because of the blood high she was on both times that they slept together. But, she knew she'd only be lying to herself if she tried to make herself believe that. She was done with lying to herself any longer about any and everything. She just couldn't do it to herself anymore, or to Damon, or to Stefan in that matter. It was time for her to grow up and face reality instead of living in the fantasy world that she had been living in for the past year when it came to how she felt about Stefan and Damon both.

"Yeah, you could say it was the blood, and quite frankly you should. I refuse to let you use me any more. I can't do it anymore, Elena. Just keep telling yourself it was the blood high you were on each time because you know it was. You also know that it won't be long until you and Stefan get back together. You always do. I'm just not going to put myself in a position to be as hurt as I usually am anymore," Damon told her saying everything that he'd kept bottled up inside for such a long time.

So, he thought she only slept with him just because she was blood high each time. A fire lit in side of Elena, and she had the sudden urge to prove to him that their two intimate times together wasn't just because of a blood high. She knew just how to prove it to him, too. Without a word, Elena slowly removed her shirt. She made sure to keep eye contact with Damon.

Damon kept eye contact with Elena as well until her shirt hit the floor. He averted eye contact as his eyes followed her hands down. They stopped on her chest for a moment to notice that she was wearing a red lacy bra. Damon wondered if maybe she was wearing the matching red panties that he had gotten his hands on a few month or so prior to now. His answer was soon to be answered as he heard the sound of the zipper on her jeans. His eyes followed the sound of the zipper and just as his eyes reached their destination, Elena had already pushed her jeans halfway down her long, toned legs. The answer to his previous question, yep, she was wearing the matching red panties that he was hoping she was wearing.

It wasn't until Elena's jeans met her shirt on the floor and her hands went up to unhook her bra that Damon finally snapped out of the trance he was momentairly in and asked, "Elena, what are you doing?"

Letting her bra slip from her their place on her body covering her breasts, Elena answered him with her own question, "If I only slept with you because I was on a blood high each time, then would I really be stripping in front of you right now?"

She had a point there. He knew Elena well enough to know that she would never do anything that she was uncomfortable with. Doing what she was doing now would've definitely been uncomfortable with her if she really didn't want to do it. So, maybe it really wasn't the blood high. Elena really meant it when she said it wasn't just two because moments. Maybe Damon really did have a chance with her. And, if it did end up with her just using him again, then he couldn't deny that being used never felt better.

"Damon," Elena said his name so quietly that had it not been for his vampire hearing he would've never heard it.

He broke away from his thoughts and realized that she was now standing in front of him completely naked, and she didn't look the least bit embarrassed. When he made eye contact with her again he noticed that she had a small smirk on her face. He was going to ask her what the smirk was about, but all coherent thoughts left his mind when the towel wrapped around his waist was suddenly on the floor along with Elena's close and Elena had her body pressed tight against his. This really couldn't be happening, could it?

**~DLS~**

Neither knew how long it had been when the sound of Elena's cell phone finally filled the room, interrupting their current bedroom activities for the third time. Apparently, the call had to be very important if whoever it was kept calling over and over again. Elena had to force herself to get out of the bed as well as having to wrestle her way out of Damon's grip which was so tight. He didn't want to ever let her go. After a little struggling and a passionate kiss, Elena finally managed to get herself out of his grip and out of bed.

Elena made her way over to the pile of her clothes and Damon's towel on the floor and shuffled through them to retrieve her phone. By then whoever was calling had already hung up and the phone rang no longer. She grabbed her phone out of her jeans pocket and looked at the caller ID. She was shocked to find that she had actually missed more calls than she thought. There were literally 14 missed calls. Elena then proceeded to check her voicemails. Most of them were Caroline and Stefan saying to call them, they needed to tell her something important. It wasn't until she heard the 14th voicemail that her world came crashing down. Jeremy, Matt, April, Connor, and hostage at the grill all in the same sentence was not good combination what-so-ever.

Tears were suddenly filling Elena's eyes and falling like Niagra Falls down her face as her phone dropped to the floor and she frantically rushed to get dressed. When Damon joined her with a look of extreme worry on his face and asked her what was wrong all she could seem to say one word at a time was, "Jeremy...Matt...April...Connor...hostage...grill...trouble." Followed by Elena looking at Damon and saying, "Secret." Damon didn't have to be a genius to figure out what that was all about.

The day had just gone from bad to great to worse and it wasn't even noon yet.

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So, as you can all tell I'm following S4 kind of, sort of and this chapter occured before what happened in 4x05, therefore, for the sake of the story don't even pay attention to anything good that happened with SE in 4x05 because in this story SE are broken up and they're not kissing or anything like that.

Review and let me know what you all think! All reviews are welcome! Thanks!


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